#this is kinda cringe but i wanted to post it ughh

[n9ph]

[the-project-and-the-ghost]

[HEARTBURST]

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*after a bit of time passing and having recovered fully, mewtwo decides to meet the rest of the fam*

*he finds a rather attractive human woman cooking something... Must be something new since she's kinda fucking it up not gonna lie-*

????: God- fuck- i put too much... I'll just scoop out the rest, it's okay, not a big deal...

Mewtwo: uh hello?

????: Holy- helloooooo..? Whoever you are?? Who are you aaaaand... What are you??? I don't think i've ever seen anything about you anywhere.

Mewtwo: *sigh* Arceus give me strength- you're familiar with Mew, right?

????: Y-yeah???

Mewtwo: i'm like-... ughh god i hate even speaking of it- a clone? Something superior?

*the woman's gears are turning...*

*...and suddenly the light bulb is turned on*

????: Ohhhhh mewtwoooo okay i got it-

Mewtwo: goodness i hate that name-

*he gags at the mere mention of his name and anything related to it*

Mewtwo: uhhh what's your name, human? I'd like to meet everyone here and get familiar since i'm staying.

????: I'm...

*She thinks about it for a second... what is she hiding?*

Mary: i'm Mary, Mary Lavender, you?

*mewtwo is. Confused™, by her name...*

Mewtwo: are you really named "Mary Mary Lavender"???

Mary: no i'm- fucking hell- just Mary Lavender, nothing else! Fuck-

Mewtwo: language-

[THE POST CONTINUES WITH NO POTENTIALLY HARMFUL CONTENT BUT IT'S STILL UNDER THE CUT DUE TO IT'S LARGE AMOUNTS OF LENGTH]

Mary: anyway- who are you?

*mewtwo cringes at the thought of saying his name, it really brings up terrble, terrible, just horrible, terrible, terrible... horrible memories...*

Mewtwo: ... Hmmmm...

Mary: you don't like your name, huh?

Mewtwo: ughhh... Can you tell?

Mary: oof... If i had any ideas for a new name, i'd tell you, i'm sorry...

Mewtwo: it's alright, i'm kind of getting used to it anyway... Honestly i wish i didn't.

Mary: i'm sure you'll get the one you want soon, for now we'll call you bald snrk-

Mewtwo: Arceus that's worse- i have seen hairless Meowths in my life in the wilderness so NOOOOO THANK YOU.

Mary: yeah it's confirmed, we're calling you bald-

Mewtwo: NO.

*Mary laughs a bit, then focuses back on the cooking... Now i'd say "chore" because she was suffering trying to learn new recipes, but she actually managed to pull it off, slay queen*

Mary: oh shit i did it-

*someone steps through the backyard entrance door, carrying a basket full of fruits... GOD NO THEY DON'T HAVE A FARM IN THEIR BACKYARD, IT'D BE FUCKED BEYOND REPAIR BY THEIR PETS JESUS CHRIST*

???????: Hey everyone! I got all the fruits available!

Mewtwo: oop- holy-

*oh- OHHHHHHHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOH LOOKIE HEREEEEE~!*

*a shiny gardevoir with green vitiligo has entered the stage with fruits, and lordy me would you look at that... There's a reason mewtwo fell for this chick*

Mary: oh my god Celeste these look awesome! Thank you so much for the fruits!

Adam: ah we estan rebuenos estos! (Oh wow these are so good!)

Mary: snrk- when fruits look so good you bust out full paldean-

Adam: Ey™

Celeste: And i have few that you might like to try, too!

Adam: TELL ME YOU GOT THOSE ONES, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH-

*while everyone's talking around there with each other, mewtwo over here is... OVERFLOWING with thoughts*

Mewtwo in his mind: (HOLY ARCEUS GOD HIMSELF SHE'S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL WH-)

Mewtwo: goodness gracious- /////////

*Mary, Adam, and the shiny gardevoir with green vitiligo look at mewtwo in confusion... The gardevoir stares for a different reason obviously*

Adam: what? Yo Mewtwo you good??

Mewtwo: yes i'm fine, now if you excuse me i'm gonna need some time alone so i can recollect myself be right bACK- ////////

Adam: ah- wait- wait mewtwo? Mewtwo that room isn't... Finished.

*mewtwo quickly leaves and goes to the guest room...*

*Adam sighs in "WELP" and promptly gives up on life*

Adam: good thing he's a psychic type, cuz i don't think he'd like how it looks currently...

Celeste: Does anyone think that thing's hot?

Adam: say what now-

*cue the glass shattering sound effect*

*Adam quickly turns to look at Celeste with a face of surprise, what did she just say???*

[end.]

[mariantoina]

thoughts on t*sp

look. at first i told myself that i wasn’t gonna watch this show, and then the very next day it got leaked so i was like “you know what? im gonna watch it anyway!” and thats the worst decision that ive ever made in my life because this show was... bad. could it have been worse? definitely, given the fact that it was an emma frost show based on a philippa gregory book. but this was still terrible enough for me to type this post up, so here we go!

i can guarantee you that you’ll have a more fun time reading this post than you will watching TSP. this is under a read more because.. whew.. theres a lot.

THE CASTING

first and foremost: the actress playing KOA cannot act. she’s really pretty, granted, but her acting was genuinely terrible. like.. i cringed almost every time there was a scene terrible. not only was her spanish accent bad but she felt so.. stiff, i guess would be a good word, whenever she said something. and that didn’t do anything to help the fact that she has a bad case of ScarJo Fever™ (if you don’t know what that is: it’s when an actor/actress only makes the same three facial expressions) people need to stop hiring actresses and actors just because they’re attractive and actually make sure that they can act. at this point, i am Begging!

the actor playing harry was actually good though, at least in my opinion. he did his best with what he was given and i really admire that! you can tell that he was putting a lot of effort into it, even though the way that they wrote him was really out of character for that period of his life (see: this post)

h7′s actor was good in the scenes that he was in, but the way that they treated h7 was so.. weird? they didn’t make him as creepy as i thought that they were going to when i first found out they were making an adaptation of TCP, but there was still this lowkey creepy vibe that he had going on.. i honestly dont know how to explain it, but it was there. also he slapped the shit out of harry in a scene??? that was messy as HELL

the actress for margaret beaufort was good, but there were some scenes that just had me like.. oh? on god? (most notably the death scene, but i’ll get into that hot mess later) you could tell that she was trying hard, even if they made MB’s character arc terrible.

the actors that played lina and her love interest were amazing, though. they worked with what they had and i really liked what they did with them even though the writing was shit. the scene with their wedding was adorable and really well acted!

angus imrie (arthur) was good, too! but the wig that they gave him? atrocious. i’m going to see it in my nightmares. georgie henley was really good in the scenes that we saw her in as meg tudor, but most of the scenes she was in weren’t that good and that’s wack :’)

i don’t know the name of the actress that played juana of castile in the episode she was in, but i liked her acting, too.. even though the writing for her was kind of cringy.

before i end this section i should let it be known that i was more attached to juana, meg and arthur in the few episodes they were in than i was to KOA during the entire show. it’s so tragic like. how are you going to cast a lead actress that cant act?? Hello???

before i get into the issues with the writing and creative direction i have with the show, i just wanna say: the pacing of the show was terrible and really, really difficult to follow. the entirety of the second episode, which followed from their KOA/arthur marriage to arthur’s death, probably had the worst pacing. it felt like only a few weeks had passed in the show’s time, when it was supposed to be what? six months? and there was so indication of a timeskip between episode 6 and episode 7, even though juana was still in england at the end of episode 6 and h7 died about 10 minutes into episode 7? it’s so tragic.

okay, moving on!

THE CREATIVE DIRECTION

look. i get that it’s a show and of course there’s going to be historical license but... GOD this show went above and beyond.

there’s so much i want to say here, but the most important one that i have an issue with is the shit that they did with lina’s character. erasing the fact that she was a slave owned by ferdinand and isabella and then later given to KOA was absolutely terrible. and then not only did they do that AND make her KOA’s most loyal lady-in-waiting, but they erased the fact that she was forced to convert to christianity, forced to stop using her birth name and instead having to use the name of her new owner in the name of #StrongFemaleFriendships. disgusting!

EF: lina is KOA’s most faithful servant and they have a strong female friendship!! hashtag woke!! hashtag feminism!! my black ass:

honestly it gets even worse because KOA and lina’s “central female friendship” was barely even there. lina had more scenes with rosa, one of KOA’s other ladies-in-waiting, than she did with KOA. not to mention that KOA was manipulative to lina and kept saying stuff like “you owe me service” or stuff along those lines? it was so shitty. lina sweetie im so sorry that this ugly ass bitch would even try you

the next big thing that i had a problem with was the fact that they aged up harry, when in reality he was about 11 years old when KOA first came to england. like, i can’t really go that much into it because even thinking about the fact that they aged him up to make him Arthur’s Hotter, All-Around-Better Brother™ when he was fucking 11 makes me kinda sick but. ughh it was terrible.

not to mention the fact that they villainized margaret beaufort because of course they did. apparently you cant be a middle aged woman without being villainized?? especially not in an emma frost show. but the way that they villainized her was so ugly. and the fact that they attributed shit like edmund dudley’s execution to her when it happened an entire year after she died? Hello????

the way that she just took over and declared herself regent when h7 was in mourning for elizabeth of york and kicked KOA out of the palace + the way she tried to threaten margaret pole & lina into revealing that KOA wasn’t a virgin.. shgkhhgsfhgkshjbjsjb that shit was so fucking messy its like they tried to make her a fusion of mother gothel from tangled and ursula from the little mermaid

the way that they made EoY dislike KOA was so weird? and the way that both her and margaret beaufort assaulted her by kissing and groping her respectively was weird and definitely uncalled for.

this is a minor one in the gist of some of the other things but why did they make EoY’s last daughter a stillborn child? someone correct me if i’m wrong, but didn’t she live for about a week before she died? but then again, i remember that she named their daughter after KOA, so they probably did that to avoid the fact because they made EoY hate her. messy

arthur’s wig counts as a creative decision right? well whoever gave him that wig needs to be fired. PERIOD

arthur’s wig:

me:

whoever did meg tudor’s costumes also needs to be fired tbfh they were so bad. what did she ever do to yall

THE WRITING

i guess that writing can go into the creative direction category as well, but there were so many problems with the writing that it deserves its own category

KOA was so terrible in this. between her manipulating harry and lina, and the fact that she kept defending the fact that isabella abused juana because “our mother was a queen, a warrior” was ugly! “tO bE qUeEn oF eNgLaNd iS mY dEsTiNy” girl if you don’t shut ya mouth catching these hands is gonna be your destiny

they also made KOA put all of her faith in the fact that she was related to queens? like, every time juana said she couldn’t do something because her husband + ferdinand are assholes, or every time isabella was brought up she kept being like “but you’re/she’s a queen!” it was irritating

all of the predictions about the great matter/KOA not being able to give harry a son were weird. i would have been fine if it had only been like.. one time, because sometimes foreshadowing can be good, but it was brought up every 5 seconds and at the most random times. like when EoY was literally dying in childbirth?? Hello????? god are you there??

AND THE FACT THAT EOY STRAIGHT UP WENT TO HELL AND SAW HER BROTHER GETTING EXECUTED THEN CAME BACK. HELLO??

then when margaret beaufort was about to die and she saw ghosts? and jasper tudor showed up to take her to hell i guess? honestly i didnt know what the fuck was going on but that shit was so fucking messy and wild. i have to laugh

also: i mentioned this earlier but all of those scenes where harry was ranting and raging.. EF really saw the name “henry viii” and floored it with that huh

they also dumbed harry down imho.. Wack!

juana seducing harry was a hot ass mess in its own right, but honestly? juana and harry had more chemistry in that one minute scene than KOA and harry had in the entire show

we were not even 10 minutes into the pilot and they were already trying to portray isabella as a #WokeFeministQueen. how, you might ask? why, by showing her leading a group of men to kill black muslims for their faith, of course! didn’t you know that being racist and islamophobic is hip and feminist when you’re a queen?

like i get that its from KOA’s point of view but in the opening monologue of the pilot they mentioned that isabella overthrew the moors like it was a #Feminist thing to do and not a part of her orchestrating massacres and contributing to genocide? @ EF: on GOD??

tbh? shocked that KKKristopher KKKolonizer wasn’t mentioned in a positive light based on how much they tried to glorify isabella. like what catholic monarchs stan was allowed to work on this show with EF and P. Gregory?? hello????

i’m totally fine with the whole plot point about katherine lying about her virginity, since we’ll probably never know the truth about whether or not she and arthur consummated their marriage, but it was poorly executed in both the writing and in CH’s acting. i could tell that she was lying and so did.. almost everyone, really.

the scene where they were about to.. i guess lynch lina’s love interest for “stealing” made me really uncomfortable. i dont even know how to explain it

h7′s death scene.... this is all i have to say about it

margaret beaufort ordering the execution of edmund dudley was shitty for a lot of reasons but honestly him screaming “fuck you all to hell” was hilarious

the ending scene of episode 7 where they were in the chapel and henry asked KOA if she was still a virgin was bad writing and CH’s acting made it even worse. cant even lie convincingly smh

margaret pole’s plotline was so confusing.. i barely knew wtf was going on with her the entire show? it all felt so rushed and forced. it was weird

EoY and h7 had some cute scenes together though. and that was like.. one of the shows only real redeeming qualities

that’s about it for this post about TSP! my overall rating for it is a 0.5/10. it was super shitty, but i liked arthur, juana and meg tudor so it gets a 0.5 instead of a plain 0. and apparently theres one episode left too.. DREADING it. anyways: emma frost absolutely failed in her goal to be like “its not all about anne boleyn!” because if anything this show made me think about how claire foy and natalie dormer were both robbed of awards so.. if reading this post gave you hives? go watch wolf hall or the tudors for their great performances!

thanks for reading! :)

[brittanybutler]

My thoughts on the novelization of the Kim Possible movie! Minor spoilers.

Okay, so I caved and bought a digital copy of the live action Kim Possible movie novelization and, uh... I have some thoughts. Continue reading for some general information and my opinion on the overall vibe. Nothing toooo spoiler-y or deep. Well, I get deep with my analysis... but I’m not analyzing anything too big. Just minor things and lines that aren’t important to the storyline but can give you a pretty good idea of what the movie will be like. There are no details that I would consider major or huge plot points in this post. If you’ve seen all of the trailers/sneak peeks and are familiar with the film’s summary, you should be alright. Basically, keep reading if you want to know what to mentally prepare yourself for lol.

Right off the bat, all I’m gonna say is that judging from the dialogue alone -- it’s definitely geared towards kids. Young kids. I don’t think teenagers will think this is cool. Just as I feared, there’s cheesy use of social media (selfies, live-streaming, youtube) and annoying 2010s slang (“shook” “fam” “kthanksbye,” etc.) I don’t understand why they feel the need to throw in stuff like that to make it ~current~??? It just makes it feel awkward and trying too hard to be relatable. I think keeping it relatively timeless and omitting slang and selfies would’ve been the better option for a live action adaptation of something as iconic as Kim Possible. There’s already enough technology with her freaking holographic Kimmunicator and gadgets! haha. It’s 2019. We all know that smartphones are a thing. They’re normalized now. You don’t need to shove it in our face, haha. I mean, Kim said some dated slang in the cartoon and flip phones were prominent... but it’s a cartoon. It works. With live action, it gets a little dicey. You want these characters to feel like people who talk like real people, ya know?!

Something that made me cringe beyond belief is the first scene at Bueno Nacho. Athena named her dog “Ron Stop-pit-bull” (I kid you not) so Ron says something about wanting to be a freaking dog when he grows up??? So Athena and Ron literally proceed to woof like dogs and break into laughter about it......??? I have no idea how that’s not gonna be cringeworthy on screen. I wanted to die just from reading it. Some people assumed this photo from J-14 magazine was behind the scenes, but it does in fact happen in the movie: 

One thing that sorta rubbed me the wrong way is that they talk about Kim and Ron being famous heroes on the news and everything a liiiiittle too much. Athena being a superfan of Kim and Ron kinda goes along with that and could potentially feel a little overkill. The morons who think that Kim had a secret identity are gonna have a field day with that lol. Ugh.

The holographic Kimmunicator is a really cool update for this generation since the original one was essentially a smartphone with FaceTime and wouldn’t be nearly has forward thinking as it was in 2002. Towards the end of the KP series it was updated to a wristwatch, among a few other different designs (but a wristwatch also wouldn’t be forward thinking today thanks to Apple Watches) and now it’s a necklace. I like that! 

The only issue is that it’s not very discreet. Wade pops up a lot throughout the movie and as we saw in the sneak peek, the hologram is pretty huge. I hope the size can vary or something? Because that could be weird when Wade beeps Kim at school and stuff. It was handy when cartoon Kim could casually whip out the handheld, open her locker and talk to Wade on the computer, or glance at her wrist. Not sure how this is gonna fly in other situations:

Also, this sneak peek makes more sense in context. I figured it would. People are seriously overreacting. They portray Kim as a perfectionist and she desperately wants to be on time for her first day of high school. It’s not “WHY is Kim using her gadgets and Wade’s help for an every day situation?!?! UGHH” like people are complaining about. It makes sense to me. It’s cute! That barrel roll is still completely unnecessary though, hahahahaha. But, I’m embracing the random stunts like that. I think it’s hysterical. 

I know a lot of people (myself included) were upset about Kim not being a cheerleader, but she actually is! Or at least, she was...? And is still interested in cheer at the beginning of the movie. So that’s nice! Kim being a cheerleader was necessary on the show because it helped us make sense of all her flips and kicks and such during missions. It’s a really important part of her character so I was sooo happy to see that it wasn’t completely erased!

I still want to be surprised by the movie, so I just skimmed it and skipped a lot of pages. But yeaaaah. That’s the general gist of it. I feel like I’ve read enough to know that I should keep my expectations lower than I originally planned. This doesn’t mean the movie is going to be terrible or anything. The junior novelizations usually leave out a lot of things (the book felt extremely short? Granted, I skipped a lot.. but yeah) and the whole story is written in a way that’s cheesy and simple for little kids to read. Like, I’m not gonna lie. I was pretty much cringing non-stop. I have a junior novelization of The Even Stevens Movie and it’s cringy as HECK. They even changed some of the dialogue for whatever reason! But the movie isn’t nearly as cringy and is clearly a campy self-aware flick once you watch it. I’m hoping KP will be the same way.

I can’t help but worry that it’ll translate to screen as suuuuper lame though. Let’s hope the actors can pull it off convincingly. I want to love Ron (I stand by my word that Sean Giambrone is the perfect choice) but he’s seeming a little too dumb at points, overly kid friendly and hunky dory! Like a literal human cartoon. He trips over his shoelaces and falls victim to other clichés like that. Some of the lines he has are... oh boy. [i.e. *sees a giant statue of a brain* “WOW! I didn’t know brains were so big! How do they fit in our heads?!” -- An actual Ron Stoppable quote.] In a cartoon, a line like that works. But live action? Ehhh. It all depends on Sean’s delivery though, and I have faith in him but... dang, he has some awkward dialogue to work with.

I’m a huge fan of The Goldbergs, so Ron is the main thing I’m excited about if I’m being totally honest. I will say, the first two chapters are the only parts I read fully (since they were the free sample) and I liked it. It’s action packed and fun. We’ve actually seen a lot of it in the trailers already so if you wanna read it, it doesn’t spoil too much at all. Ron’s grand entrance is cute and wacky and I actually smiled really hard while reading and picturing it. :)

I’m not a big fan of how Rufus is introduced. They made a major change and it kinda genuinely upset me. But, I will say.. they at least give us an explanation for why Rufus is so smart and aware. That’s kinda cool, since in a 2d cartoon you don’t need to question why a naked mole rat can talk and point and help Kim and Ron lol. I’m horrified of how the CGI will look in action though. From the one photo we’ve seen, he looks kinda terrifying imo: 

I’ve said before that instead of attempting to go for a ~realistic~ feel, they might’ve been better off keeping 2d animated Rufus and having a vibe similar to Space Jam lol. I mean, Kim Possible is a cartoon that makes no logical since in real life so I don’t think that would’ve hurt. Or maybe I’m just sad because 2d Rufus is sooo adorable. I’m gonna miss him so much. 

EDIT: They’ve officially released some footage of Rufus in action and he looks waaaaaay better than I expected! Yay!

As everyone has predicted, from the few parts I read.. Drakken and Shego seem awesome and on point! Pretty funny as well. I don’t have any complaints about them. Rest assured, Shego delivers her sarcastic remarks a ton. I actually laughed out loud at one of them omg. From what we’ve seen, Todd is doing a fantastic Drakken and Taylor has great deadpan delivery. I have a feeling they might steal the show tbh!

So, yeah. Make of this what you will!

I’m still really excited for the movie, but I’m relieved to have my expectations in check now. 

[sweviliant]

t's PAST MIDNIGHT IN CALIFORNIA, 9 am in ITALY and I guess 17 pmin Japan so ALLES GUTE PREUSSEN Two drawings of my beloved in three days?! Ughh, my fingers are killing me... The other one is a secret since it's a self-insert, don't wanna cringe anyone and was for me so'... BUT it's a special occasion today! I worked so hard ;V; Well, it's not that good for a drawing, I did a quick sketch and lineart... the anatomy is kinda meeeeeeh. But I did for the love of Prussia ahaha. It's been like 8 years since I'm in this fandom... and the first uploaded something like this public??? I felt insecure and anxious so... Well! But I wanted to post it because it's Prussia's birthday! It's a special occasion! (I celebrated more his birthday than mine, which is 14th of January ugyuu so close ❤️) Ahaha, ok. Sorry. Cringe-y

Yes, those hands supposed to be mineee. Asjkajak I feel so anxious about posting this nyeee

I don't know why it ended up a vaporwave style? Don't ask me asdfghjkl. Happy b-day husbando ;v;

will gonna add the tags later when I will have the courage rip